Brass Wall Art: Galloping Horse >>>Mint<<<
Price: $29.99 FIRM
Note: Can’t hold, can’t deliver
NO—this is not the brass wall art that injured Tiffany Castiglioni, who was in my trailer without permission. That was a totally different piece of brass wall art.
Yes, Tiffany and I went out. I bartend at the dive she and her girlfriends hit most Friday nights. We have the cheapest frozen daquiris in town.
Originally it was my buddy Keith she was interested in. But when he told her he was kind of engaged, she locked onto me. “You’re cute,” she said one night, like she was almost sure.
But that has nothing to do with the >>>UNIQUE, CLASSY<<< brass wall art I’m selling here. You can see in the pic that this is a Mustang, America’s Horse, at full gallop. It still has the price tag on it, so you can see that I’m asking >>>HALF WHAT I PAID<<<. Anyway, do me a favor and do not bitch about the price. This thing is mint.
I tried to give it to Tiffany when I asked her to move in. I had a big brass Jesus head from my mom hanging above the couch that I was going to replace with this Mustang. Tiffany gave pony-riding lessons to kids, but when she had a buzz on she’d talk about heading West to be a cowgirl. I wanted to show her that I got it: she wanted escape. I didn’t mean she had to leave right away.
Tiffany is a sad person and I know that’s why she’s mean, but after she unwrapped the Mustang I thought she’d gone crazy for real. She jumped up, yelling something about how it was a hint, that I wanted her gone! When all I said was, “We spend most nights together anyway, so why not?”
There was always something else she wanted me to say, but she wouldn’t give me a hint. Maybe she just brought up the cowgirl thing when she wanted to sound interesting. She did love horses. All animals. She was real sweet to my little pug, Cujo.
After we broke up, she was ENRAGED. Not because she loved me—we were each other’s good enough. She was mad because she’d let herself get paranoid and blown a good thing too soon. And wasn’t this what you did, when you lost a guy who probably wasn’t your forever guy but what if he WAS? You go crazy. You rage. You weep. You break into his trailer and sit on his couch with a knife across your lap, so he will shit himself when he opens the door after a long shift, sore and beat, and all he wants in life is a shower and to be left alone. Better to be despised than dismissed.
I’m pretty sure Tiffany wouldn’t have cut me with that knife. But I’ll never know because by the time I got home, brass Jesus had pulled loose from the wall and knocked her out cold. She was slumped forward onto her knife which punctured a lung. Cujo stood by the coffee table, barking his head off.
I tried to visit her in the hospital, once. She told the nurse to keep me out. I’m sure she wanted me to come back, keep playing our game. She wanted more apologies. For everything: the ways I’d hurt her, the ways she’d been hurt before. But I walked away.
In any case, this brass Mustang wall art is innocent. Jesus is the one who hurt Tiffany—not on purpose, of course. The Mustang was just a bad idea I had, but maybe, for you, it’s perfect. A gift for someone you actually love, who loves you back.
Remember, it’s heavy. Anchor it well. I didn’t secure Jesus well enough. No one wants to be the reason another person gets hurt.
First come, first served. I’ll help you get it in your car. It’s weighed on me long enough.